Stress

So, I'm back on here for a while. (See daughters and moms for other posts www.daughtersandmoms.com ) This is always the worst time of the year, leading up to the holidays. Every year it comes. Every year it hits. I try different ways to holiday shop -- online's easier, gift cards, etc. Maybe you're there. Maybe you're crying daily like I am. Tonight both Tom and I will miss Kelly's Winter Concert. We have NO choice. Tom has to schmooze at his freelance gig's Xmas party and I had a freelance article due and this is the only night they're meeting. Kelly is PISSED to say the least.

"You made me practice the Cello a half hour EVERYDAy. And now you can't come," sulking boo hoo face.

True.

"Why can't you?"

Can't. Beacause, mommy needs to use that muscle in her head that's been withering, slowly decaying amidst laundry, walk the dog, feed the dog, bath the dog. "Mom, need new crayons. Mom, what's for dinner. Mom, it's my turn on the computer." My novel that I started now four years ago is rotting on the computer. I shut down like a stone when I try to re-write it to the point of shaking and crying in front of the laptop screen. Mommy needs to work. My brain is jello. We need money.